Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Things You Already Know About Barack Obama, but Ask Anyway

The Mitt Romney experience inspired me to see what searches people are making about President Obama....

"Barack Obama birth certificate" - I know it's around here somewhere.... Is it this one... no...

"Barack Obama Kenyan birth certificate" - Oh, that birth certificate! It's in Donald Trump's underwear drawer, next to the pink undies he borrowed from Sheriff Arpaio.

"Barack Obama ethnicity" - A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

"Barack Obama gay" - No he's not, but I'm sure he's flattered that you find him attractive.

"Barack Obama muslim" - No, you're confusing him with Hank Williams, Jr.

"Barack Obama religion" - Although worshipped by millions, he has no plans to actually form a church.

"Barack Obama new world order" - Close. He's a New World Man.

"Barack Obama real name" - His birth name was James Anthony Hamilton, but his mother worried that such an unorthodox name would get in the way of a possible political career and changed it to Barack Hussein Obama.

"Barack Obama racist" - Yes, you figured it out, lots of racists dislike Barack Obama.

"Barack Obama's kill list" - It's top secret... except for your name - you're lucky #7.

"Barack Obama's name in the Bible" - Not in the one you own, but perhaps it's in one of the lost gospels.

"Barack Obama's weaknesses" - I know, you were probably thinking "Kryptonite", or perhaps even "The color yellow", but it turns out that it's "The Stupid".

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