Mitt Romney experience inspired me to see what searches people are making about President Obama....
"Barack Obama birth certificate" - I know it's around here somewhere.... Is it this one... no...
"Barack Obama Kenyan birth certificate" - Oh, that birth certificate! It's in Donald Trump's underwear drawer, next to the pink undies he borrowed from Sheriff Arpaio.
"Barack Obama ethnicity" - A little bit of this, a little bit of that.
"Barack Obama gay" - No he's not, but I'm sure he's flattered that you find him attractive.
"Barack Obama muslim" - No, you're confusing him with Hank Williams, Jr.
"Barack Obama religion" - Although worshipped by millions, he has no plans to actually form a church.
"Barack Obama new world order" - Close. He's a New World Man.
"Barack Obama real name" - His birth name was James Anthony Hamilton, but his mother worried that such an unorthodox name would get in the way of a possible political career and changed it to Barack Hussein Obama.
"Barack Obama racist" - Yes, you figured it out, lots of racists dislike Barack Obama.
"Barack Obama's kill list" - It's top secret... except for your name - you're lucky #7.
"Barack Obama's name in the Bible" - Not in the one you own, but perhaps it's in one of the lost gospels.
"Barack Obama's weaknesses" - I know, you were probably thinking "Kryptonite", or perhaps even "The color yellow", but it turns out that it's "The Stupid".