Saturday, May 21, 2011

The Rapture: Good News and Bad News

The good news is that the rapture will occur at precisely 6:00 PM this evening, and the righteous will be transported to heaven, leaving only a heap of abandoned clothing in the spot in which they formerly stood. This is a bit like the New Year - it will happen at 6:00 PM in accord with your time zone, so you don't have to worry about figuring out how many hours to add or subtract from the scheduled event.

Now the bad news: If you're still here at 6:01 PM it does not mean that the rapture didn't occur. It means that you're not righteous, and will remain here among the damned. So sorry.
Posted by at 10:51 AM
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3 comments:

  1. LaidOffTeacherPatti5/23/11, 6:14 PM

    I knew you wouldn't get raptured!!!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aaron5/24/11, 9:50 AM

    I've changed my mind. We're all now in heaven. Strangely, it's exactly like Earth.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous5/26/11, 7:44 PM

    No, the bad news is that God hasn't called Harold Camping home yet . . . and the worse news is that some idiots will continue to believe in this senile old fool . . .

    CWD

    ReplyDelete

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