"...But I don't have a brain."
Haynes knew he was in for some cruel and unusual treatment. He took a swig from his Diet Pepsi bottle, put on his reading glasses and announced: "I don't have a formal opening statement." He then read his formal opening statement, in which he defended all those things he couldn't remember doing by saying that "we all rightly fear another assault on our country, one perhaps even more horrific than the last."With the Bush Administration, unfortunately, who would expect anything else?
He then rested his elbows on the witness table, revealing a big gold watch on his wrist, and allowed the amnesia to wash over him.