Wednesday, June 18, 2008

"I Would Love To Answer That...."

"...But I don't have a brain."
Haynes knew he was in for some cruel and unusual treatment. He took a swig from his Diet Pepsi bottle, put on his reading glasses and announced: "I don't have a formal opening statement." He then read his formal opening statement, in which he defended all those things he couldn't remember doing by saying that "we all rightly fear another assault on our country, one perhaps even more horrific than the last."

He then rested his elbows on the witness table, revealing a big gold watch on his wrist, and allowed the amnesia to wash over him.
With the Bush Administration, unfortunately, who would expect anything else?


  1. I didn't read the entire proceeding, but presumably he was asked "Was there a time when you knew this information? What documents would help refresh your memory? What records did you keep of these discussions?" and the usual sorts of questions asked of the mysteriously amnesiac witness? (I wish.)

  2. This was my favorite part:

    When did he discuss [harsh questioning] methods with other Bush administration officials?

    "I don't know precisely when, and I cannot discuss it further without getting into classified information."

    Chairman Carl Levin (D-Mich.) had had enough. "You say you don't remember it any more clearly than what you've said," he pointed out. "Therefore, going into classified session isn't going to give us any more information than what you've said, which is you had conversations but your memory is bad."

    "Correct," Haynes agreed.


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