Image Consultants?

An image consultant offers advice to Chris Brown:

"Come up with a soulful song about what happened," said Davia Temin, CEO of Temin and Co. "I would use my fame to say, 'Look we are all human and make terrible mistakes.'"

Mistakes? This is a mistake: "I miscalculated the tip on my order, and left 25 percent instead of 15 percent". This is not a mistake: "I repeatedly punched my girlfriend in the face, injuring her so badly she needed emergency medical treatment." I can hardly wait to hear the set of lyrics Davida proposes. Something a bit more soulful than, say, this? Is there a song people traditionally dedicate to their loved ones, after they smack 'em around a bit?

The idea, said Temin, "is to embrace the thing that hurt you the most and turn it into something positive."

Such wonderful advice. Except Brown wasn't really the person who got hurt. Did he skin his knuckles or something? To me, this sounds a bit like suggesting that OJ Simpson was "hurt" because Nicole got his knife all bloody and he ended up having to throw away some really expensive gloves and shoes.

While Brown has yet to plead to the criminal charges, in the court of public opinion, he's already guilty, she said.

"The reputation is already tarnished, and perception becomes reality," said Temin.

Well, let's see... The alternative theory whereby he could be innocent. That would be a bit like the guy who complained that, no matter how many times he swerved, the pedestrian he hit ended up standing right in front of his car. How would it work? "No matter where I put my hands, she kept brutally bashing her face against my knuckles."

Another consultant suggests that Rihanna's return to him could help him:

"The fact that she is standing by his side is significant," she said. "That she went back to him takes him off the hook a little."

Puder-York quickly added, "It does not excuse what happened."

"But for the public, it raises the question, 'Who am I to condemn him if the person he is accused of victimizing is not condemning him?'" she said.

It raises a different question to me. I was left wondering, what sort of childhood did Rihanna have, where she would view brutality like this as anything even slightly acceptable in a relationship, let alone something forgivable. If you want to participate in a New York Daily News-style "she brought it on herself" sneerfest, you're part of the problem.