Election Year Christmas Carols

For the President,

I don't want a lot for Christmas,
In this weak economy,
It would be too much to ask you,
For a quick recovery,

This is all I want to say:
To make my election day,
Ron Paul would be a hoot,
But all I want for Christmas is... Newt.

For the Republican candidates,

Here we come a-caucusing,
Across our land so free,
Come and hear our pand'ring
And demagoguery.

Graft and pork, come to you,
And big farm subsidies, too,
And God bless you, and send you
To vote for me next year,
And God send you to vote for me next year.

Newt's solo,

Oh little town of Bethlehem,
Your people are a fiction,
And even if you're Christian,
You should get an eviction.

I claim to be an expert,
But some say I'm a hack,
My Ph.D. in history,
I sold to Freddie Mac.