Tuesday, June 23, 2009

"Help Me Lie To My Ill-Behaved Children"

(Appropriately) via lies.com, somebody who's not up for the parent of the year award.
Premise: You will be the dog walker hired by daddy (me) to walk Skittles. I will introduce you to the kids, and you will tell them you are going to help Skittles get her exercise when Daddy is too busy to walk her. At that point you will walk Skittles to your car and take her to her new family 20 minutes from my place. Then return holding just a leash. The story will be that Skittles broke free of the leash and took off. At this point prepare for crying, things being thrown at you, and possibly cursing. My kids are young and dramatic, their girls.
Are you qualified?
This job is ideal for an actor looking to diversify their role base, or someone who genuinely likes to make children cry. Acting experience is a plus, but not necessary. Please inform me of any prior experience in this kind of situation.
No mention of whether you can get SAG credit....


  1. Can I walk this asshole somewhere on a leash and drop his sorry ass off to a "new family" (like, I don't know, a bunch of gang banging psychopaths or something). What a dick.

  2. How about coming back with two dogs - "She found a friend, you lucky little girls!"


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